I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
