What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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