Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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