I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We have so much sex to catch up on
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
