went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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