He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
