my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
