ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
