Ambien. No doubt about it.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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