i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
