bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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