i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
