watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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