do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
