Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
