I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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