Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
