I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
