I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
