Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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