We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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