i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
