I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize