Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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