This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
