Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
