I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
