Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
