do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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