is your mom at the bar?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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