do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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