Don't you send me to vm
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
