Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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