if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
