I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
