so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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