just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
