I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
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