So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
