I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
