You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
