I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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