don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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