If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
