i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize