True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
