your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize