Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
