i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
