He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize