I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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