I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
