distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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