she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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