I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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