Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he fucked my hip out of place.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
